Yesterday I woke up feeling emotionally drained. I’ve been grinding hard recently and sometimes that go-go attitude catches up on us. Negatively and anxiety hit me right in the face. I could feel myself worrying about stuff that I didn’t need to worry about, wondering what if it doesn’t work out? Not wanting to let it beat me I knew what I had to do. I had to stop working and have a day to recharge. To trust that it will all work out. A day of self-care was needed.
So I dropped Peta-Summer to School and went straight to post office to send a parcel to my Grandad. There is something about getting an errand done that makes me feel really good. I then decided to have a spontaneous trip to the shops. This is something I don’t do these days as Clark gets bored and things can become stressful. I decided if he did get fed up that’s OK, we’d just come home. Having no expectations felt good. The sun was shining and I just didn’t want to be home. I knew if I was home I’d be tempted to try to work. I knew I needed to just be out the house enjoying life. Life is too short to always be working no matter how much you love it. When your drained you must stop. Sometimes slowing down is the hardest thing to do, but if you truly believe everything will work out (and you must) it’s a sure fine way to put things to the test.
Clark was mostly well-behaved. Although he did have a strop over me not buying a new bikini which he felt we needed. It was liberating to say sod it, today I won’t work and instead I’ll go to the shops. Something so little but it felt great to just be trusting that things will work out. No striving, trying to force things to work out. I managed to get my Father’s day presents sorted. Again it felt good to get another errand done, but with no expectations. Just going out for the hell of it, because why not take the day off? Sticking two fingers up at juggling it all, let’s just do one thing. Liberation at it’s best.
I treated Clark to lunch and he proudly showed the ladies in the cafe his gingerbread man. He also kept asking if he could take his shoes off, nothing like making yourself at home. It felt so good to do something in the moment and yet it was nothing special, we simply went to the shops and had lunch out. Yet there was something empowering about the whole thing, I remembered why I was self-employed, so I could do things like this around the kids. To create a good life for us, that isn’t about grinding all the time but enjoying life to the full.
On the walk home Clark fell asleep in his buggy. I used this opportunity to do a spot of housework and put a load of washing on. This probably doesn’t sound like self-care. It probably sounds like the norm, but it was. I knew if I did a little something to make my environment nice I’d feel better for it. There isn’t much that pleases me more that a clean, organised home. Clark was still asleep, perfect. I could just sit in the garden and chill. Pure bliss.
Clark woke not long before we had to go and get Peta from School. I took them to the park and enjoyed the beautiful weather with them. I felt great for having a day of doing no work , but also drained from the constant stimulation of being a Mum. Sometimes I just crave time to myself. So when Tony came home later that evening I decided I’d go for a long walk on my own. This isn’t something I’ve ever really done before. Normally if I don’t have the energy to run I do nothing. Lately I’ve struggled to find the energy for exercise so I just haven’t been getting any in. I know the lack of fitness isn’t good for my physical and emotional well-being. So this evening I decided I would change that. I’d just walk and clear my head. Enjoy some light exercise.
I walked for about an hour down the beautiful river. I then sat admiring the view before having a listen to the gladiator theme tune before heading home. There is something about that song that make me feel all inspired. It was heaven to just spend time recharging. The weather was amazing. The sun was still shining, but not so hot that it was uncomfortable. The day was exactly what I needed.
Sometimes it’s just good to take time to recharge ♥