It’s OK to be bitter. I don’t want you to be bitter but I want you to know if you are it’s OK. Sometimes things happen that will leave a sour taste in our mouth and that’s OK. It’s OK to be angry, hurt or even jealous. What’s not OK is to stay that way. Nobody benefits from that and it doesn’t affect the other person but it will gradually eat away at you. It’s toxic and it’s hurting you.
At times in my life, I’ve found myself bitter, completely pissed, feeling totally used and rejected. That mother fucker hurts and sometimes that bitterness has then spiralled into jealousy and insecurity that was never there before. It’s OK to be pissed at the universe and think it’s unfair. If this has happened to you then know that’s quite normal and that’s OK too. Your human, those feelings and emotions happen. They are valid. What’s absolutely not OK is to stay like that. It doesn’t serve you. Staying bitter and you are punishing yourself. Punishment is not OK.
You have a choice to do something about that. Will it be easy? No. Can you do it? Heck yeah. Will you come out the other end wiser and all the more beautiful for it? Absolutely. You can do this, but it starts with truly wanting too. When you’re so sick and tired of feeling bitter then you start to become free of it. Frankly, you have to get so bored of it that you make the choice to do something about it.
You don’t need to accept what happened as OK, but you have to come to terms with the fact it has and accept it as part of your past. You can acknowledge that it’s not OK, you never have to accept something that hurt you as OK but there comes a point when it’s time to brush yourself off.
It starts by the willingness to no longer want to be a victim to our past pain, sometimes it becomes such an identity for us it’s hard to let go. It’s become a story we are so addicted to talking about or replaying in our heads that sometimes letting it go can feel like we are saying it doesn’t matter. It does matter, it very much matters but there comes a point where you have to free yourself from the pain and let it go for your own inner peace. That doesn’t mean forget, it simply means saying goodbye to what no longer serves you. It means accepting what’s happened because you can’t change it. Focus on you now because that’s the one thing you can do. It means being so frigging kind to yourself because the world needs kindness and kindness starts from our heart. Allowing yourself to let go of being angry. To truly start to heal and rise from all the past pain or whatever you feel bitter about because staying bitter is hardly the right motivation or mindset to move on or change what needs to change.
Change needs to come from wanting better for yourself and not a place of anger otherwise that can quickly turn into resentment. That’s what prompted me to make this video last year because I learnt one very important lesson.
The way to move through any pain with grace is to truly love yourself through the process. To love and respect yourself because nobody else is guaranteed too. To love yourself because it’s become too painful not too. To make the choice to start on the self-love journey even though at first you might not know where to begin or even like yourself. To start (no matter how hard you find it) to truly love yourself as you are right now. To love yourself with ‘flaws’ and to make a conscious effort to be a friend to yourself. To give yourself permission to be self-compassionate, self-forgiving and self-loving. To start climbing the self-love ladder and to become unapologetic about it because nobody else is in charge of your happiness but you. You take responsibility for your own happiness. You take the driver’s seat of your own life. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s so worth it.
That’s how you stop being bitter because you realise it’s nobody else’s job to make you happy. You can’t control other people or life but you can control how you treat yourself, so be kind to you.
Love yourself like it’s your full-time job – it is (plus overtime).