What can I say 2017, you’ve been crazy hard at times, but also utterly amazing. In fact, you’ve been one of the most brilliant years yet. Not because you’ve been super easy, quite the opposite in fact. You’ve been unbelievably challenging twice this year. You almost broke me on a few occasions, but on the other side of that, you really do experience great things.
Funnily enough, you’ve been exactly what I said you’d be this time last year (note to self, be careful what you manifest Kirsty).
The difficult times have taught me some massive life lessons and I’m beyond grateful. So as I head into 2018 here’s 8 things I’m leaving behind and I’d urge you to do the same.
8 Things To Leave Behind In 2017:
Sometimes we just need to forgive. You don’t have to forget, but you do need to forgive for your own inner peace.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to keep that person in your life. Sometimes you have to wish people farewell and work at getting to a place where you wish only good things for them. Holding onto resentment and anger doesn’t punish them, but it really does damage ourselves.
So truly forgive and if you choose to keep that person in your life then move on and don’t keep bringing it up. Let it go and take responsibility for your role to play in it all too. Or forgive and love them from a distance. Whatever feels good. Not everyone has to stay in your life, but some people should. Deep down you already know the answer to that. If it feels good to keep them then do so. If it causes anxiety, pain and the relationship is toxic then have the courage to walk away lovingly. Not everyone we love is good for us.
There is only one of you and anything that is meant for you will be yours. You simply cannot miss anything that’s meant for you, so you don’t ever need to compete.
I know it can be hard not to compare yourself to someone else, but when you just focus on doing your own thing and working on your own happiness you’ll realise what others are getting up to quickly becomes irrelevant.
Sometimes I’ve compared myself to others as an excuse to give up. A way of telling myself I can’t do it and that I’m just not cut out for it. It’s easy to find evidence online why we aren’t good enough. Truthfully that kinda procrastination is fuelled by our own fear and low self-worth. It ain’t about anyone else so cut the crap and get to work on yourself.
3) Phone Attachment
Buy an alarm. Stop taking your phone to bed. This is for you Kirsty, stop being so addicted. It drains you and it’s not serving you. Stop it right now. That old chestnut that you need your phone as it’s your alarm is laughable. You can afford an alarm clock. More than that it’s an investment into your own self-worth.
4) Food & Body Punishment
So you’ve probably overeaten at Christmas, maybe even all this month and you may not have exercised, that’s OK. It really is OK. Give yourself a break and stop punishing yourself and feeling bad about it. Focus on a healthy relationship with food and your body, yes I’m talking to you again Kirsty.
Remember how far you came with body confidence earlier this year and embracing your femininity? You can get back there. Promise.
Got things you wanna do? Do them in 2018. They’ll always be reasons you can’t. There will be fears, obstacles and the chance of failure but none of that is a reason not too.
Make a plan and make it happen. Face fears in 2018, you’ll regret not trying.
Ask anyone who’s coming to the end of their life what they’d do differently and they’ll tell you that they wished they haven’t wasted so much time worrying. They wish they went for more things, took more risks and were a little braver. You think you have a lot of time, but truthfully the only guaranteed time you have is right now.
6) Future Tripping
Stop living in the future. It causes unnecessary anxiety. You deserve more than that. When you catch yourself worrying about events and things that haven’t happened yet remember to come back to the present moment. Trying to control the future is a recipe for pain and insecurity. Back to point two, what’s meant for you will be yours.
7) Chasing Success
Stop striving. Work hard, but if the process starts to make you feel shitty then stop, evaluate and try again with a lot more self-love. Pleasure is important.
8) The Dream
Give up ‘The Dream’. Controversial I Know, but let me explain. Giving up your dream doesn’t mean you necessarily stop working at it, but you give up the need for it to happen to make you happy or complete you. You give up the desperation for things to be different.
You find peace knowing where you are right now is good enough and exactly where you are supposed to be in life. You make peace with it and have gratitude for exactly what you do have right now.
You stop focusing on that one big dream and let it go, knowing that if you just keep going for the fun of it then if it’s meant to be, it will be. You don’t need to make anything happen. If it’s meant to happen it absolutely will. There is no question about it.
So start focusing on lots of little dreams and surrender the big dream. The big dream will come true if it’s meant to, but if it doesn’t you’ll of had fun anyway. FYI this is the real win anyway.
The little dreams bring us true fulfilment in our lives. More often than not the ‘big’ dream is simply something you feel you need due to an insecurity that you need to put to bed. A status you want so you can feel good enough.
The ego loves to be able to prove to other people in big fecking shiny ways just how fabulous, worthy and successful you are. The reality is the heart doesn’t need much, just a little self-love, knowing you’re already good enough and exactly where you should be in life.
So never underestimate the ‘little’ dreams. It’s here where it’s really at. It’s in the little dreams where joy really does reside. You might think you don’t have any little dreams, but you do. We all do, it’s just they are so subtle you’ve never really considered them as a dream.
Little dreams can be as simple as having the confidence to step into that class or going to that concert. For me, it was a simple as having the confidence to start driving again. Little dreams are usually things we can make a plan for right now.
Write a list of all those little dreams and honour them in 2018. Read my post on facing fear here if you’re struggling to know what those dreams are. Fear isn’t what you think it is. It’s something that reveals what you really should be doing in life, one subtle hint at a time.
Have the best 2018,
This post is part of my Wellness Wednesday weekly feature, for more Wellness Wednesday posts click here. Every Wednesday there is a new wellness post at 7pm. Update: this feature no longer runs but there are still loads of blog posts here.