It’s so important to believe in yourself and know your worth. It’s an incredibly self-loving thing to do and it’s something nearly all of us need to work on. Impostor syndrome is something even the super successful deal with, where you doubt your abilities and think you’re going to be found out as a fraud. Believing in yourself isn’t just reserved for the super talented, we are all worthy and all have different skills and it’s time to start believing in you and seeing your worth from within. You don’t just magically cultivate self-belief because you’re ‘successful’.
Your self-worth is an inside job. It can’t be based on a to-do list where you achieve x,y and z and then you believe in yourself. You have to work on knowing your self-worth now and work on believing in yourself otherwise you’ll be taken down with insecurities, comparison and you’ll probably never do the things that your heart truly desires from that space, instead you’ll tell yourself you’re not good enough. It’s not true. Stop telling yourself that lie and better still stop comparing yourself.
You aren’t here to live someone else’s life. You are here to be you and to believe in yourself. Not believing in yourself benefits no one but it hurts you. It blocks you from achieving fulfilment.
Kate Winslett said “Sometimes I wake up in the morning before going off to a shoot, and I think, I can’t do this. I’m a fraud.”
Maya Angelou said “I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’
See it doesn’t matter what you achieve, self-worth and belief come from within. Here a few more. Emma Watson said “It’s almost like the better I do, the more my feeling of inadequacy actually increases because I’m just going, ‘Any moment, someone’s going to find out I’m a total fraud, and that I don’t deserve any of what I’ve achieved.’
Tom Hanks said “No matter what we’ve done, there comes a point where you think, ‘How did I get here? When are they going to discover that I am, in fact, a fraud and take everything away from me?’ and Jenifer Lopez said ‘Even though I had sold 70 million albums, there I was feeling like “I’m no good at this.” I can keep going with these.
So it’s time to put the I’m not talented, not good enough crap to bed. If you feel your skills aren’t up to par don’t let that be an excuse to not go after everything you want because most people feel like that. Leap anyway, you can do it afraid or at the very least, stop letting not knowing enough be an excuse to not go forward. Instead, dive into cultivating those skills. Sign up for the course, try the thing, send the email. Just do something to take yourself forward and know that one day you do just have to be courageous and take the leap afraid. Trust because doubt and impostor syndrome won’t vanish but they don’t have to own you.
Every time you don’t step up you’re depriving the world of your uniqueness i.e your greatness. You will be able to do things and share things in a way that nobody else will be able to because the way you see and tell a story is exclusive to you. Nobody else can see, feel and experience the exact way you do, that is your superpower, reserved only for you and nobody else can have that. No one can be the best version of you, but you. Someone is gonna really resonate with that and with you. If you keep what you have locked up because you’ve told yourself you’re not good enough you are literally rejecting yourself and you’re the one hurting you the most.
Start before you’re ready. I cringed at my 1st edition and even my 2nd edition audio series (no longer available lol). I sometimes cringe at FB lives I’ve done recently (we aren’t always on our A-game, whatever the f.ck that means, vulnerability hangovers are a real thing) and yet it still helps people, but for everything I’ve done, I had to start before I was ready. I had to literally Choose To Rise. You master skills by just doing it anyway.
Skills become mastered when you just show up, but you have to know to create and do anything that truly nourishes and expands you gotta start believing in yourself before you feel good enough. You do that by just showing up anyway afraid because success and achievement don’t lead to more self-worth and belief. It’s your responsibility to cultivate that, or should I say, decide you’re worthy because in reality only you can. It’s not outside of you. Every one of us is worthy and it’s not something anyone can give to you hence SELF-worth, you have to give it to yourself. You have to claim it and stop making others the god of your worth *eye roll* (I don’t give a crap how close to home they are either). It’s a crucial step in self-love journey and it needs your attention because it only works if you do. Loving yourself is being selfless enough to share with the world all that you have, whether you believe you have it yet or not.
And if your someone who worries about what others will think, remember something so important in loving yourself. What others think of you is none of your business, but your happiness is your business and that’s an inside job. Don’t die with your music still in because of fear of what others will think of you and to quote Brene Brown “if you’re not in the arena also getting your ass kicked then I’m not interested in your feedback”.
People who are truly fulfilled aren’t tearing others down. So do the thing you want too scared because you’ll have a hard being living with overall happiness long term if you ignore your dreams. If you don’t go after what you want and decide to stop hustling for worthiness you ain’t gonna find fulfilment. You decide on your worthiness. Period.
Choose you, choose that you are worthy by having the audacity to just go for it. Belief comes from having the audacity to just do it anyway and being kind to yourself through the highs and lows. The successes and failures.
If you need an empowering boost, I highly recommend the Come Home To You audios.
Be good to you and keep Choosing To Rise,
It Did Do Harm – An open Letter to Grandparents & Those With Adult Children
(Blog post on generational trauma)