We can’t always keep everyone happy. This I know to be true and truthfully I’m *almost* at peace with that. I say almost because let’s be honest it doesn’t feel nice to upset, hurt or cause someone to feel angry with you. I know it’s impossible to keep everyone happy and people-pleasing is totally overrated, which is why I’m pretty much fine with people not liking my every decision. Sure I feel guilty, anxious, sad, and simply icky when I know I’ve upset someone, but that’s not a bad thing. I feel those things because I care and that’s a good thing. I’m proud that I care so damn much. We need more people who care about others.
Someone from America got so miffed off with me that they went on a mission to dislike nearly all my YouTube videos. They took time out of their day to go through my videos and dislike 29 of them. Sure people disliking a video on YouTube is no big deal. Most people who genuinely don’t like a video will just click out, some may dislike it. Most won’t go to the effort to dislike. They won’t feel the need to, they simply just don’t watch anymore. This person didn’t just dislike a video and click out they took it further. Something rattled them so much they went out their way to go through the majority of my videos just to dislike them. Whatever I did to upset you so much, I’m sorry. If it wasn’t me and you’re having a bad day then I’m sorry for that too. I hope this doesn’t sound patronising because it’s not meant to. It’s sincere. I care. People’s feelings matter to me. I wonder what makes someone behave like that because I don’t believe any truly happy person would do it.
This person didn’t just dislike a video and click out they took it further. Something rattled them so much they went out their way to go through the majority of my videos just to dislike them. Whatever I did to upset you so much, I’m sorry. If it wasn’t me and you’re having a bad day then I’m sorry for that too. I hope this doesn’t sound patronising because it’s not meant to. It’s sincere. I care. People’s feelings matter to me. I wonder what makes someone behave like that because I don’t believe anyone truly happy would do it.
If it’s because I quit being a vegan then I’m sorry for that. I could be putting two and two together and coming out with 10, but since that caused some people to get angry, it made me think it could have made you mad as well. Someone posted a video to say they had quit veganism and I commented to say I had too. Let’s just say that didn’t go down too well. I even had someone visit my Instagram to question my decision over choosing to quit veganism. I get people think I don’t care about animals or the environment now that I’m no longer vegan, but I couldn’t sustain the lifestyle and be happy.
I tried on and off for two years and there have been times I’ve loved it, but quite frankly I’ve had enough of it. I don’t want to do it anymore. I’m done. I’m still passionate about veganism and what it stands for. I still champion those that live the lifestyle I found too much, but that’s as far as it goes now. I could keep trying, persisting with it, and tweaking it so that I could ensure I was getting all the nutrients I needed from the lifestyle and maybe then I’d be successful but I don’t want to. I can’t see myself ever being completely happy whilst being vegan. I always love it for about 3 weeks and then I slowly start to resent it. I don’t want that anymore.
Food is a huge deal to me. Mainly due to the fact I’ve always struggled to find a healthy balance with food. I binge, I eat too much junk food and I beat myself up. It’s not cool, I’m not proud of it and I’m working to just be healthy. Veganism was just another way I’d beat myself up every time I fell off the vegan wagon. I don’t want that anymore. I want to live a life where food isn’t the enemy and I can eat something and be alright with it. Where it doesn’t become a binge, a diet, or a form of punishment to myself where I’m trying to make up for all my ‘bad’ food choices I’ve made. Where I don’t look at my body and hate it. I want to embrace food and embrace myself.
Recently I’ve gone pescetarian and I feel happy. I don’t feel deprived and if that makes people mad then I’m sorry. Truly I am. I don’t eat meat, I buy cruelty-free cosmetics, I stopped buying clothing made from animals and I really try to make better choices for the environment. If that isn’t enough then I’m sorry. I get that your so passionate about the cause and you feel frustrated and mad with me. I’m sorry you feel I’m just another person who doesn’t care and I wish I could make you see otherwise, but I know I’ve lost your respect now and I’m OK with this. It doesn’t feel good, but I’ve come to realise I can’t keep everyone happy. I’m just sorry if your one of the people who are unhappy with me.
What worries me though is the people who want to hurt others because they don’t like someone’s decision. When I’m mad, hurt or upset I don’t go about disliking people’s work, leaving troll comments, or in some way trying to upset that person. The dislikes on my videos don’t matter, it’s not a big deal. It’s the field I’m in. What is a big deal is that people take action to go out their own way to do this.
I’m lucky that as of yet I haven’t had a full-on troll comment on my YouTube channel (some strange ones, but we’ll let that go), but thankfully nothing hurtful. I see it all the time though. Troll comments left on people’s videos just to hurt them. Judging their lifestyle choices, mocking their personality, and taking a jab at their appearance seems all far too common. What happened to these people to make them wish to upset someone? I worry about these people. I don’t hate them for their actions, although I loathe the action they take. I wish I could take whatever anger, pain, or judgment away from these people. Or whatever emotion that makes them feel like bullying is the answer. I wish I could shower them with love and show them that there are better ways.
Be love ♥
It Did Do Harm – An open Letter to Grandparents & Those With Adult Children
(Blog post on generational trauma)