We can’t always keep everyone happy. This I know to be true and truthfully I’m *almost* at peace with that. I say almost because let’s be honest it doesn’t feel nice to upset, hurt or cause someone to feel angry with you. I know it’s impossible to keep everyone happy and people-pleasing is totally overrated, which is why I’m pretty much fine with people not liking my every decision. Sure I feel guilty, anxious, sad, and simply icky when I know I’ve upset someone, but that’s not a bad thing. I feel those things because I care and that’s a good thing. I’m proud that I care so damn much. We need more people who care about others.
Someone from America got so miffed off with me that they went on a mission to dislike nearly all my YouTube videos. They took time out of their day to go through my videos and dislike 29 of them. Sure people disliking a video on YouTube is no big deal. Most people who genuinely don’t like a video will just click out, some may dislike it. Most won’t go to the effort to dislike. They won’t feel the need to, they simply just don’t watch anymore. This person didn’t just dislike a video and click out they took it further. Something rattled them so much they went out their way to go through the majority of my videos just to dislike them. Whatever I did to upset you so much, I’m sorry. If it wasn’t me and you’re having a bad day then I’m sorry for that too. I hope this doesn’t sound patronising because it’s not meant to. It’s sincere. I care. People’s feelings matter to me. I wonder what makes someone behave like that because I don’t believe any truly happy person would do it.
This person didn’t just dislike a video and click out they took it further. Something rattled them so much they went out their way to go through the majority of my videos just to dislike them. Whatever I did to upset you so much, I’m sorry. If it wasn’t me and you’re having a bad day then I’m sorry for that too. I hope this doesn’t sound patronising because it’s not meant to. It’s sincere. I care. People’s feelings matter to me. I wonder what makes someone behave like that because I don’t believe anyone truly happy would do it.
If it’s because I quit being a vegan then I’m sorry for that. I could be putting two and two together and coming out with 10, but since that caused some people to get angry, it made me think it could have made you mad as well. Someone posted a video to say they had quit veganism and I commented to say I had too. Let’s just say that didn’t go down too well. I even had someone visit my Instagram to question my decision over choosing to quit veganism. I get people think I don’t care about animals or the environment now that I’m no longer vegan, but I couldn’t sustain the lifestyle and be happy.
I tried on and off for two years and there have been times I’ve loved it, but quite frankly I’ve had enough of it. I don’t want to do it anymore. I’m done. I’m still passionate about veganism and what it stands for. I still champion those that live the lifestyle I found too much, but that’s as far as it goes now. I could keep trying, persisting with it, and tweaking it so that I could ensure I was getting all the nutrients I needed from the lifestyle and maybe then I’d be successful but I don’t want to. I can’t see myself ever being completely happy whilst being vegan. I always love it for about 3 weeks and then I slowly start to resent it. I don’t want that anymore.
Food is a huge deal to me. Mainly due to the fact I’ve always struggled to find a healthy balance with food. I binge, I eat too much junk food and I beat myself up. It’s not cool, I’m not proud of it and I’m working to just be healthy. Veganism was just another way I’d beat myself up every time I fell off the vegan wagon. I don’t want that anymore. I want to live a life where food isn’t the enemy and I can eat something and be alright with it. Where it doesn’t become a binge, a diet, or a form of punishment to myself where I’m trying to make up for all my ‘bad’ food choices I’ve made. Where I don’t look at my body and hate it. I want to embrace food and embrace myself.
Recently I’ve gone pescetarian and I feel happy. I don’t feel deprived and if that makes people mad then I’m sorry. Truly I am. I don’t eat meat, I buy cruelty-free cosmetics, I stopped buying clothing made from animals and I really try to make better choices for the environment. If that isn’t enough then I’m sorry. I get that your so passionate about the cause and you feel frustrated and mad with me. I’m sorry you feel I’m just another person who doesn’t care and I wish I could make you see otherwise, but I know I’ve lost your respect now and I’m OK with this. It doesn’t feel good, but I’ve come to realise I can’t keep everyone happy. I’m just sorry if your one of the people who are unhappy with me.
What worries me though is the people who want to hurt others because they don’t like someone’s decision. When I’m mad, hurt or upset I don’t go about disliking people’s work, leaving troll comments, or in some way trying to upset that person. The dislikes on my videos don’t matter, it’s not a big deal. It’s the field I’m in. What is a big deal is that people take action to go out their own way to do this.
I’m lucky that as of yet I haven’t had a full-on troll comment on my YouTube channel (some strange ones, but we’ll let that go), but thankfully nothing hurtful. I see it all the time though. Troll comments left on people’s videos just to hurt them. Judging their lifestyle choices, mocking their personality, and taking a jab at their appearance seems all far too common. What happened to these people to make them wish to upset someone? I worry about these people. I don’t hate them for their actions, although I loathe the action they take. I wish I could take whatever anger, pain, or judgment away from these people. Or whatever emotion that makes them feel like bullying is the answer. I wish I could shower them with love and show them that there are better ways.
Be love ♥
It Did Do Harm – An open Letter to Grandparents & Those With Adult Children
(Blog post on generational trauma)
I don’t understand people who leave nasty comments or dislike things seemingly just for the sake of it. Do they not have anything better to do to make themselves feel better? Hope you’re ok hun xx
thanks sweet, I’m OK ☺
Love this post. I dabbled with veganism and it really wasn’t for me – my sisters are all vegans and I am super supportive of their choice and they understand mine too. At the end of the day it’s your diet nobody elses! XX
Thanks Alex 😊
Okay, this really made me angry! First of all, I don’t honestly understand the point of people disliking a video, like if you are not enjoying it or finding it useful click out of it, it doesn’t harm anyone. I have even seen a vlog with a baby mother with her baby getting disliked by just one person??!! Like why, why would someone take the efforts to dislike a video that hasn’t been disliked at all at the same time having no harsh message or contradicting ideas? And then you are right, some people must be so in the hatred environment that they go about and dislike people’s work as if they are the perfect critic of all. I am sorry if I sound harsh but I really felt bad and all the emotions are typing out just as I finished reading your post. Second of all, Kirsty, you do not have to feel guilty for making a decision in YOUR life that makes YOU happy. Aren’t we all trying to do things that keep us happy? I am not vegan or a vegetarian for that matter. I know I cannot be, that doesn’t mean I don’t love nature and animals. I am too sensitive about nature and love to support social campaigns to help nature and animals. The lifestyle choice is completely yours. I agree that you are in a field that people will judge you or criticize you but disrespect your work is not a good manner. It is terrible when people want others to feel bad. At the same time, I feel we are fortunate that we have a platform like our blogs to be able to open up and share our perspective when we are judged. I have always been an advocate for respecting others opinion and not falling into debates. Don’t be sorry XOxo ❤
Bless you, sorry it made you angry. Thank you. I think people don’t understand how you can care for animals, environment etc and not be vegetarian or vegan. I do because I never used to be and none of my family are. Its a complete overhaul of your life. I can understand how they don’t see it that way though, but I agree we should all respect other people’s discussions. Xx
I don’t know why anyone would be so mean. My local paper ran a story about how my son couldn’t access a new toy store in our city centre because they didn’t put in a lift. It wasn’t complaining or angry, just factual, but a few people suggested that we shouldn’t expect to access it. They knocked two shops into one but couldn’t put a lift in a toy shop! I don’t know why people have to be so mean.x
bless you, sorry you experienced that. Hope things have been positive since.
That’s just plain mean, to actually go on disliking every single video they liked? That person certainly has a lot of time in their hands. You can’t please everyone, I’m sure you know that already. All you can do is stay true to yourself. That’s all that matters. Hope you’re feeling better now.
Bless you, thank you. I’m ok, it happens x
I’m sorry to hear this has happened. I think that person must be unhappy inside and good on you for not letting it affect you too much. There’s nothing you can do about it, so focus on the good and keep enjoying what you’re doing 🙂
thank you, yeah that’s my feeling on it too x
I find this whole disliking EVERY video bloody pathetic.
Its happened to me, you & Alex from that group… I am starting to wonder if its someone from there to be honest.
I just wish people would sort themselves out, I’ve disliked before but because the topic is offensive not because I’m out to wind someone up x
Gosh I really hope not :O