Extreme Loyalty Is A Trauma Response

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but extreme loyalty is a trauma response. Loyalty is thrown around as a positive thing without nuance. It’s used to manipulate people to stay in dysfunctional relationships. I’ll say this louder for the people at the back – EXTREME LOYALTY IS A TRAUMA RESPONSE! What do I […]

18 Things That I Wish I’d Known Before About Healthy Relationships

Here are 18 things I wish I knew decades ago about healthy relationships. 1) Fanastising and being attracted to other people is normal. YEP, I said it. I went there. Yes, I’m gonna piss some people off by saying it and I’m gonna say it anyway as I want to normalise this very normal thing […]

It Did Do Harm – An Open Letter To The Grandparents & Those With Adult Children

Dear those with adult children and grandparents, It did do harm. Some of the things you did, did harm. We aren’t fine. Many, many of us struggle. This isn’t to blame or shame you. You did the best you knew and we all get it ‘wrong’ and by no means am I saying this is […]

The Sisterhood Wound Runs Deep

I haven’t written a blog post in almost 2 years and it’s been 3-4 years since I blogged consistently, but this is something I felt called to share. The sisterhood wound runs deep. Real deep. Betrayal, heartbreak, very conditional love, humiliation, competing, jealousy, judgment, and rejection all leave a scar. I remember being 17 and […]

True Love Means You’ll Have Boundaries

I really came to realise in the last year how true love means you’ll have boundaries. In all my relationships that flourish there is a lot of respect there and the ones that don’t flourish there is either no respect or I simply haven’t put boundaries in place (AKA I’m not respecting or honoring myself). […]

It’s OK To Be Bitter

It’s OK to be bitter. I don’t want you to be bitter but I want you to know if you are it’s OK and to some degree- super healthy. Sometimes things happen that will leave a sour taste in our mouth and that’s OK. It’s OK to be angry, hurt or even jealous. These emotions […]

Silent Survivors of Sibling Sexual Abuse

After my letter to my younger self, I had an outpouring amount of messages from victims of child abuse. It was sad and yet beautiful. Sad because it shouldn’t happen, ever. Beautiful because people were opening up and I believe that’s where we start to heal. One woman after over a decade made a statement […]

A Letter To Myself On My 13th Birthday

Dear Kirsty, Happy 13th birthday. I’m sorry this letter is late. I know your birthday was a couple of days ago, but truthfully although I’m 18 years older sometimes I just don’t know how to put something so important into words. I want to do this the justice it deserves,  the justice you deserve and […]